Actually Education Neurodiversity Stories – Muhammad Abby

Actually Education Neurodiversity Stories – Muhammad Abby

Actually Education are committed to sharing and spreading great advice and stories from the world of neurodiversity and as a part of our discussions with the community, and our research, we hope to also share our conversations with fascinating individuals we meet along the way.

Muhammad Abby or ‘Abz’ as he prefers works at University Academy 92 (UA92)  in Manchester as a Student Recruitment Assistant and has been involved with the up and coming institution for over three years.

Abz has already been recognised as Highly Commended at the Manchester Young Talent Awards and won a Greatness Unlocked Award during his graduation. A Journalism graduate, he has a passion for podcasting and sharing his stories. Abz has a lot of stories to tell; he lives with ADHD, Autism, bi-polar disorder, tic disorder and anxiety disorder. He’s all about spreading awareness and positivity so he and Actually Education have a lot in common. In this interview, we talk about Abz’ young life, career so far and how he tries to help raise awareness.

Thank you Abz for talking to us and sharing your story and tips, can you tell us a bit about yourself?

I work at UA92 as a Student Futures Assistant on a Tuesday. A lot of the work is more interactive and flying about. I’m a neurodiversity public speaker so I go to schools and colleges to speak openly about the challenges I went through as a kid, how I wasn’t enjoying it and I love that aspect of it. I also work at Venture Arts, a centre for learning disabled artists in Manchester.

I never used to love the public speaking side of things but UA92 helped me to embrace my mental health issues and not be ashamed of being different. I started to realise that being more active in speaking about things helps others to not be ashamed of it. I try and do some volunteering every other day, I give myself breaks and rests in between things.

Thinking about your whole life so far, you’ve got multiple diagnosed conditions so how did you find growing up with those conditions and what was school life like for you?

Primary school was tough because I had this funny feeling in my stomach for days, I didn’t know what it was, anxiety or something. I had stomach pains from worrying. I didn’t know what it was because as a kid you can’t explain it and if you tried to, people just pushed you to one side. I was mischievous and got into trouble sometimes, I didn’t fit in, I tried to fit in, but I didn’t.

I struggle academically, I remember in primary school we had Harry Potter themes [for the class abilities] and I got put on Slytherin which was one of the lowest ones. As an adult you realise that they put you against each other in schools and for the least academic kids that’s so annoying.

In high school I got in trouble a couple of times, I got suspended and I feel like my behaviour deteriorated a bit because I was acting out, it was just chaotic for me and I hated school.

Would you say that when you look back that those feelings were normal for you, knowing what you know now? Were you just trying to handle your conditions as best you could?

Yeah, I think I didn’t know what was going on in my head, I knew I was different, and I knew I was struggling but I didn’t know how to articulate it then as a kid. You don’t want to tell your family or friends because they worry, I just left it. I know from a young age that I had suicidal thoughts, I didn’t want to be here from a young age, so you just bottle it in.

It’s amazing that you dealt with that and you are who you are now Abz! How old were you when you first got any kind of formal diagnosis?

17 or 18 I think, I was in a mental health hospital for a long time. I was diagnosed with anxiety at 15, I always worried, worried like mad. I think 18 was ADHD, 21 was Autism and Bipolar two years ago. The tics or Tourette’s was weird because I was always told I would grow out of it as a kid. I remember in Year 9 Art class Miss Baker said I swore at her, I can’t remember swearing but I just thought well I will swear at you now because it’s in my head.

Speaking to someone who lived in my area they said I used to swear all the time, put fingers up at people but they said I would grow out of it. Even yesterday, I realised certain foods trigger it or the vibrations on public transport would set me off. I used to be obsessed with pigeons, I used to say rude words at them! It’s not just language either, it’s eye rolls and the head twitches are the worst one for me. I don’t always swear!

Did being diagnosed with any of these things change anything for you?

I got upset. You get worried no one will employ you or no one will take you seriously, but I thought I need to stop, and I need to stop this narrative that it’s hard. I had a lot of support and therapy; I’m not going to lie I do have bad days. I go to four different mental health clinics, and I have to manage three different psychiatrists. Definitely trial and error with the medications too! I wouldn’t change it for the world, I knew I was different as a kid, but it put a spark in me, I can do it.

Have you experienced any stigma or discrimination as a result of this?

Yeah. Loads! For example, Autism it’s like “oh you are a bit slow or a bit dumb” and things like that. I have to explain myself that I’m not being rude sometimes, I’m just being myself. I’m scared of explaining myself because people might think I’m incapable.

Some people say things like “oh it’s fun that, I’m a bit ADHD or Autistic” but it’s not fun and people shouldn’t really say that. Or people say “oh you don’t look it!”, I’m not even sure how to respond to that. Some people just stay away from me or didn’t speak to me, I like that though ha-ha.

For you personally this is a huge part of your life so is that hard for you to get across to people? The difference in the severity of the conditions?

Yeah, definitely. I find it hard to explain to people because well, Abz is Abz and I am Abz obviously so I’m just me.

I love talking, I love meeting people but sometimes my Autism prevents that, and I just want to be by myself. I get irritated and with being bi-polar I can be quite emotional and sensitive. Tourette’s comes out randomly, basically managing multiple complex needs is hard.

Do you think people’s understanding over the last five or ten years has got better?

It’s alright but I still feel the government talk about it in a negative light like it’s not a real thing. I know what I deal with is a real thing. That just empowers me even more, being nice and being kind and making it easier for people.

You have bad days and good days and manage it; my life is a rollercoaster managing all these conditions. One of my dreams is to pass my driving test, I know that’s a massive hidden burden. The DVLA already have problems with driving with some conditions, I want to accomplish that.

Are you having lessons now?

Yeah, but I find it hard. The instructors are nice, but I get distracted easily and frustrated.

Definitely something to aim towards, it would be really inspiring if you achieve that one day…

Yeah. I have a lot of goals, one of my biggest things is I want to interview Barrack Obama, I think it will come.

It’s great to have ambitions like that and if you keep at it I’m sure we will see that interview one day! Do you have any examples of coping strategies in terms of how you manage yourself day to day?

I often wear my headphones without playing any music. I always try and set off with a lot of time to spare to get to whatever I’m doing. I definitely tell people if I’m having a bad day beforehand and people accommodate that, and we just chat instead of doing something more serious.

One of the key things for you is just being as open as possible right?

Just saying to people, we can do it and we can work together easily.

When we first met you were saying very positive things about working at UA92 also…

That’s definitely still the same, it’s changed my life for the better! I was the first ever graduate of UA92 actually.

What’s specifically helped there? How have they accommodated you?

On my very first day when I met Stacey Anderson [now Director of Marketing at UA92] when I refused to go into the classroom and the Wellbeing person came and sat with me, I said I wanted to go home, and I wanted to give up there and then but the vibe was so positive. I’ve ended up in the magazine, on the prospectus and they actually care about my wellbeing and that it wasn’t a bad thing to struggle.

And in classes they were accommodating?

You get a learning support plan; they really helped me.

Did you consider other Universities?

No, I wasn’t going to go at all but UA92 changed my mindset, so I applied.

Other than your role with your Uni, you said you do a podcast and lots of talks in the community?

That’s right, I’m changing the name [of the podcast] to “Unscripted with Abz”, I’m going to try and commit to it and show people that representation is important. I do the things I do for my younger self, my niece and nephew, the school kids so they can see they can do it, they are the changemakers. Embrace it, be positive and enjoy life, have a laugh! Everyone has a bad day, I refused to go into classes, to make friends and do basic things. You will fail but come back stronger, it’s easier said than done. I’m silly, I’m a massive kid so I want to bring that out of me.

Finally, what advice would you give to parents and carers of young people with neurodiversity conditions?

I saw what my Mum went through so I can relate and can say don’t worry, it’ll get good! Don’t blame yourselves for any of it, it’s not your fault and you are amazing parents and carers. Ignore any criticisms, remember you are doing a good job even if you think you are not, you are. Forget what most people say, it’s a them problem not a you problem. Ignore what people say to you if they look at you funny and move on because they don’t know what you are going through. You are there to help, you are educating your child every day as you go.

Thank you Abz for your time and great input for our readers, some fantastic advice in there and hopefully we see more involvement with Abz in the future!

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